STRIKE THAT

For teams facing Captain Carl Vankoughnett's Neon this season, the bar is whether or not you can keep the final score respectable. In an otherwise winless and woeful season, Captain Emily Bennington's Green did just that back in Week Three, logging their 'auto loss' with a 5-3 L almost worth celebrating. Captain Wasif Hussain's Brown was up next on the auto loss docket, and at 2-2-0, with average to below average totals on both sides of the ball coming in, this would be yet another 'hope to keep it close, and lose with some measure of dignity intact' endeavor for the challengers. Brennen Abel had Brown started down that path early in the first, posting his seventh of the season at 7:24 (Sadie Hellstrom & Captain Hussain), but...Thanos...Giummo at 4:59 to tie it (Steve Pugliese), then at 1:26 (Captain Vankoughnett & TK Mason) to give Neon a lead heading into the first break. Stephanie Ann Palomo Schmidt opened the scoring in the second at 8:16 (Giummo & Jim LaGrossa) to build Neon's lead to two, but Abel's second of the game kept the underdogs alive and barking at 2:02 (Eli Schonbrun & Payam Sazegar). I have lost track of how many times I have typed 'late period goals are absolute killers' (or something similar), and literal last second goals are the cream of that killer crop. Pugliese beat the buzzer at 0:01 in the second (LaGrossa & Giummo) to push Neon's lead back to two and send Brown to the bench stunned and slump-shouldered. Abel would complete his hat trick at 8:31 in the third, putting Brown closer than any other team to nicking at least a point from Neon, but Giummo's own hat trick capper at 2:00 provided the last layer of insurance that Nick Meglich (22/25) would need to secure the 5-3 win. Chuck Bender (24/29) gave Brown his all as a stand-in for Will Heinl, but the 'auto loss' trend held true for another week, moving Neon to 5-0-0 heading into what may prove their biggest challenge yet, a showdown with Captain Mason Holcomb's 3-1-1 powerhouse Pink.

The Civil War Reenactment Bowl™ was up next, with Captain Jeremy Copp's wishy-washy-weirdly-woeful Grey taking on Captain Ryan Karns' attendance-challenged Blue. Grey knew from experience (particularly the opening game of the season against a decimated White roster) that a manpower advantage would by no means translate into any real competitive advantage, so while their attendance was perfect and Blue was without Brendan Jew, Jason Olver, and Mark Chercoe, Copp & Company strapped in for what was sure to be another tight, tense tilt. Steve Goncalo put Grey in front first with his second of the season at 4:29 (Chris Koziol & Captain Copp), and when Patricia Gladstone notched her second of the season at 2:42 (Mark DeGraffenreid & Rob Gaudio), it looked as though Grey's pattern of not taking advantage of advantages might finally be snapped. Nope...not really. Josh Wirt cut the lead to one with his sixth of the season at 5:40 in the second (Jenna Chercoe & Kerri Sevenbergen), and Mark Nagy drew Blue level with his second at 2:49 (Andrew Wong). Sandwiched between these strikes, a penalty shot was awarded to Captain Karns after Jon Cima thwarted him on a breakaway chance. Karns would fail to convert, but the run of play goals from Wirt and Nagy meant (indeed) a 'tight, tense tilt' heading into the final period of play. Neither Cima (16/18), nor Matt Henderson (24/26) would concede any more damage in the third, leaving both teams with a point and plenty of 'what if' wonder in the wake of a 2-2 tie. Blue remain just above the cut line at 1-3-1, and will need a winning effort against Maroon this Sunday to stay safely above the fray going into the final weeks of play. Grey's 2-2-1 has them mired in the middle pack, with a 'measuring stick match' with Captain Bryan Ossa's 2-0-2 Charcoal up next.

That middle '0' in Charcoal's record is the remarkable inspiration for this week's headline/POTW honors. Ossa & Company entered Week Six play as the only non-Neon team with a spotless loss column, and that nice round number was VERY VERY VERY nearly flattened to a straight line by Captain Shawna Hamon's wily and willful White. Pat Gladstone picked up where she left off in the previous game, filling the net at 7:58 in the first in a fill-in feature for Kimberly Hernandez (Chris Fiore & Luke Wolmer). Owen Perks responded on the powerplay for Charcoal at 3:25 (Joel Gattey & Eric Willard) before Matt Rogers wrested the lead back for White at 1:26 (Wolmer & Captain Hamon). Perks brought Charcoal flush again with his second of the game at 8:30 (Greg Wirth & Willard), but Rogers immediately restored White's lead with his second of the game at 8:15 (Wolmer & Hamon), then completed (perhaps his first career) hat trick with an unassisted strike at 5:12. A two goal lead and a clock winding down below four minutes...you had to like White's chances of icing their second win of the season and pushing themselves away from the cut line and into the middle of the playoff pack. Willard's fourth of the season at 3:52 (Gary Peters & Noel Gattey) was a 'not so fast' notice, but time remained on White's side as the clock wound down below the one minute mark. Incidentally, that was Noel Gattey...with an 'N'...this assist marked her first career SDFHL point! CONGRATULATIONS, NOEL! I am sure her career totals will eclipse her dear dad's in no time. Speaking (well...typing) of time...there was really none left for Charcoal...thirty seconds...twenty...ten...five...a few ticks would seal the win for White and...OMFG...Perks with an absolutely sublime snipe from the corner...top shelf...0:01...game tied! So...another literal last second goal in Week Six, this one in the last second of the game to miracle a 4-4 tie for Charcoal and anti-miracle (if that's a thing) a 4-4 tie for White. It doesn't get much crazier than that, folks. Honestly, neither Chris Tran (18/22), nor John Kushneryk (16/20) deserved to lose this game, so perhaps this was fate's way of making that a reality for both.

Dead horse, I know, but there is an absolute lack of suspense and intrigue this season with Neon raining hellfire on us all. Outside of a 'small market team takes down $800B goliath' situation like we witnessed somewhere else in sports recently, Neon has already won the Cup...the rest of us are just futile fodder. If there is one such 'small market team that could' in the mix this season, it is Mason Holcomb's Pink. The reason is as simple as the old adage 'fight fire with fire'. Giummo is (as always) a raging inferno for Neon, but Pink features a pretty fearsome ball of fire themselves...Kyle Snyder. Snyder certainly knows how to 'downshift' into an appropriate gear for this league (imagine that), but it is clear from his play to this point in the season that he is out to outscore and outshine Giummo. Enter Dorothy Kline's Teal...one of only three undefeated teams coming into Week Six...a team that has just found a way to win or tie games...but also a team whose wins came against opponents holding a combined current record of 1-9-2. So, lossless, but...perhaps a touch 'less challenged' than other teams to the midway point in the season. Snyder wasted little time putting Pink in front, depositing his first of the game at 7:16 (John Kushneryk & Sean Kelly) and his second at 6:34 (Kristin Sigler & Elyse Shattuck). Kelly bumped the lead to three with his third of the season at 5:39 (Kushneryk & Arnold Gonzales), before Josh Tran finally showed signs up Teal life at 5:16 (Matt DeBerry). The second period was all Snyder...unassisted at 4:15, 0:54 from Kushneryk and Gonzales, and 0:10 from Kelly. If you're scoring at home, that's FIVE Snyder strikes for the game, pushing him one past Giummo for the season goal scoring lead with SEVENTEEN! Whether it was a Snyder 'downshift' or dogged (too little, too late) defense from Teal, the third period saw just one last tally...Kirstin Sigler's second of the season at 5:05 (Kushneryk & Kelly). Chuck Bender (12/19) tumbled from the top of the goalie ranks with the touchdown against, while Chris Tran (20/21) enjoyed the latest Snyder-Man™ installment from the comfort of his crease in a sub stint for Captain Holcomb. The 7-1 Pink win was a perfect prelude to THE BIG GAME™ this Sunday...Pink v Neon...Snyder v Giummo...4:00...get your popcorn, fans!

Dark clouds hung menacingly over Week Six from the very start of the slate, but four games landed in the books with not much more than a few minutes of light to moderate mist. Unfortunately, Mother Nature decided she was done firing warning shots at our humble league, and the nightcap between Captain Emily Bennington's Green and Captain Grant Goins' Maroon had to be stopped at 7:58 in the second. As (a desperate lack of) luck would have it, this would be the second rainout of the season for Bennington's Brigade. The (tentative) reschedule is posted now on the schedule page, with the two teams set to resume action in the second period of their scoreless tie at 5:30 on November 8th...